Tuesday 22 September 2009

Every so often I just am absolutely astounded at what has been accomplished in the last few years.  For example, at the moment work-wise, today I talked to our reseller company in South Africa about a big opportunity in Ghana, and my sales guy had a conversation with a chap in New York who's really interested in "buying" our software, all the time thinking that I must get round to reviewing the draft contract with potential resellers in Australia.  This is software that I have written - other folk have had input into the design, but every last line of code is mine - and people across the world are interested in it.  Wow!

And then I think back to a year ago, getting ready to go to Thailand.  I know my past, and I know it will never ever disappear, but I increasingly feel disconnected from the trans world in many ways.  It's like I've forgotten what it felt like, having this body that I really didn't want.  It leaves me in a strange place sometimes - revisiting the question "was it all really necessary", but without the constant feeling of pain that there had been for 35+ years.  And it makes it very difficult to answer in one way.  Of course, in many other ways, it's so obvious that transitioning and surgery was the right thing to do.

Then there's my daughter, already making a name for herself in her new drama school - she's the one who sings with a "good voice".  I'm dwarfed by the potential that seems to be opening up before her - and proud that I can afford to pay for the privilege.  Not forgetting my son, who seems to be deciding on a future career in the police, and is visibly starting to grow up.  I just love children of this age - they have so much new knowledge, yet so much to learn, but are still keen and eager and ready to have fun.

There's the choir, which I now seem fairly bedded into, and the possibility of being a school governor, and a campaigner on trans issues, ...   Life is full - sometimes I think too full.  But it's great!