The Uninvited

Earlier this week I was invited to see a one-woman show for which my cousin had "designed" the costume. Liz, the actress and singer, is a friend of my cousin. She and her partner, Steve, had written a show, called the Uninvited, to highlight the plight of asylum seekers. There were some pithy comments. It was a bit "knit-your-own-yoghurt" style, which isn't really me, but I did find it amazing how Liz managed to keep your attention through over an hour of just singing various songs and recounting journals and other observations. How does someone remember so much material?

What actually struck me was the conversation afterwards, where people who were involved in supporting asylum seekers were talking about the work they were doing. The difficulties they outlined - the government denying that 3am raids took place, the inability of asylum seekers to work, the rules about torture not being applied, the sheer inhumanity of it all - all had parallels in how the trans community is treated and, no doubt, how other communities are also treated. Walking back, my other cousin and I boiled it down to respect. The politicians hide behind the system, the people who actually do the job hide behind the system, and the system is inhumane. No-one actually has any respect for the person on the other side of the fence any more.

Shortly after I wrote Friday's posting, there was a knock on the door. My family and I had been invited to the retirement do of one of the leaders of the church that I had been asked not to attend. We were unsure, but felt that, because we were no longer members of that church, someone had gone out of their way to invite us and it would be churlish to respond negatively. The knock on the door was from the wife of the retiring church leader. Apparently people in the church "were not going to cope" with me, so the invitation was being withdrawn. Could I not share this with my partner until after her parents' golden wedding anniversary celebrations were over? Well, no I couldn't. I don't think it's fair to keep secrets or news any more.

Needless to say, she was extremely upset and angry, really that the church hadn't moved on. She has been deeply hurt by this, and can see my pain - as could others who I've shared the news with. In fact, all of them have been absolutely aghast and appalled at the church's action. To "uninvite" someone is a huge slur. It's yet another body blow. Whenever I open myself up to church, I just seem to get heavily thumped. It's not happening again. I've had enough, and I simply don't want anything further to do with church in any form. Individuals - fine - as long as they don't seek to re-convert or fix me. Church groups - steering well away from them now. Needless to say, this is going to increase the strain when my partner decides to go to her small group on Tuesday evenings.